What You Missed on Valentine’s Day

The focus of our next Book Festival Program

by Hugh Gilmore

Whether they thought it sounded corny or thought it seemed kinky, a number of people asked how the Chestnut Hill (Phila.) Book Festival’s “Love for Sale” program went last week. I’ll offer some gentle reflections on the event.

For this, our first festival event of this year, we invited both scheduled (volunteer responders to a Local ad) and spur-of-the-moment persons who wanted to rise and say something – yay or nay – about love. The pop-ups had to pay a dollar for the privilege, though. Hence, our wonderfully clever (or awfully silly) slogan, “Love for Sale.”

The Gilmore family took turns pacing, trying to decide whether to get up to speak/sing/tell a joke, mime or stare longingly at some person of our choice. All day long our son Andrew, who makes his living as a comic entertainer, said, “Bah Humbug. This is torture,” reflecting the angst that the single feel in the presence of couples. I remember those days, so I felt bad for him.

All Set for "Gorilla Tour" Book Launch (?)

Last night we went to Cin-Cin restaurant with friends to celebrate Chinese New Year (of the Snake). After enjoying our 8-course feast we stepped outside. Musehouse, where I will have my Book Launch Party for "Last Night on the Gorilla Tour" is only fifty feet away. I pointed out to our friends the amazing discovery that Musehouse had a signboard out front advertising my reading/signing! How flattering, especially in front of friends who "knew me when."

Only, on second look, I noticed that I was billed for Saturday nite....when in actually I was billed for FRiday nite and the people I know who are coming are coming Friday.... A little embarrassing, but then I'm so vain, I'm embarrassed every hour-on-the-hour by something.

Oh boy! I thought, the story of my life: When my ship comes in, I'll be at the airport.

I drove home like a maniac (not fast, but still--like a maniac, the way my mind was racing) and sent a bunch of e-mails to everyone at Musehouse from the President to the janitor, asking for a correction. I have no idea if they changed it. I'm afraid to look.

But, rest assured, you worried readers: I'll be there Friday nite.

Dark Thoughts While Watching Mrs. Warren Ply Her Profession

 by Hugh Gilmore

I sometimes think the best way to attend an event is alone. Company is always welcome, of course, especially while coming and going, but I really believe I get more out of things by being alone when I watch them. That’s what I was thinking when I sat alone and watched our local Stagecrafters theater’s very pleasing and stimulating production of George Bernard Shaw’s “Mrs. Warren’s Profession” by myself on opening night last Friday. When I’m alone, I listen more acutely. The ideas I’m hearing  percolate through me with more intensity. 

Contentedly floating amidst the clouds

Monday, Feb 11. The news is: my book may not be ready in time for my book launch. 

What would Mr. Piggie say? ............  Maybe: "Keep flying, friend...if I could sprout wings, you can too." 

Hmmmm. I tend not to believe such inspirational BS, but who am I to doubt the word of a flying pig? He seems to like life in the purple clouds. The Pig Still Aspires to Flight! 

I had hoped that the proof of my book would be available today, but CreateSpace, my publisher, says noooo....They "promise" I can download the digital proof tomorrow and supposedly I could then order copies for my Feb 22 Book Launch. But nooooooo, again. Another 1 or 2 days they say after tomorrow. That puts me at the 14th, maybe to order that copies be printed and shipped to arrive by the day of my launch. It might be a tetch embarrassing to show up to my book signing with no books to sign.

.............. Please, let's not tell Mr. Piggie those clouds look like bubble wrap, okay?

Sunday, February 10. Another day closer to my book launch. The worry screws tighten. If the publisher does not come through with copies of my book in time, I shall Xerox them if I have to....In the meantime, I've been trying to use FB (how quickly I've learned to say "FB" instead of FaceBook! I'm a genius!), as so many people have told me I must, to let the world know my new book is coming....now that I'm in it, I'm sorry I didn't start years ago: why I'd have 1, 233, 699 close friends who’d buy my book!...ah, well, I shall be like the little acorn that grew up to be a mighty oak (that stood in the way of a new housing project and got bulldozed when it stood a mere 60-feet tall). Today, Sunday the 10th is two days away from when the publisher says my final Proof will be ready. If all's okay, I can order copies for my reading on the 22nd. .........

IF PIGS HAD WINGS

MY NEW NOVEL, LAST NIGHT ON THE GORILLA TOUR's TITLE AS OF XMAS LAST

The Original Title & Cover for "Last Night on the Gorilla Tour" 

Sunday, February 10. Another day closer to my Feb 22 book launch at Musehouse Center for the Literary Arts. 7924 Germantown Ave, in Philadelphia's Chestnut Hill section.

The worry screws tighten. If the publisher does not come through with copies of my book in time, I shall Xerox them if I have to....

In the meantime, I've been trying to use FB (how quickly I've learned to say "FB" instead of FaceBook! Such a boy genius!), as so many people have told me I must, to let the world know my new book is coming....

Now that I'm in it, I'm sorry I didn't start years ago: why I'd have 1, 233, 699 close friends who'd buy my book!...ah, well, I shall be like the little acorn that grew up to be a mighty oak (that stood in the way of a new housing project and got bulldozed when it stood a mere 60-feet tall). 

Today, Sunday the 10th is two days away from when the publisher says my final Proof will be ready. If all's okay, I can order copies for my reading on the 22nd. ......... PRINTED ABOVE, FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, IS AN IMAGE OF THE COVER OF MY BOOK AND ITS TITLE (AS OF THIS PAST CHRISTMAS--I CHANGED MY MIND AND FOUND A NEW TITLE & IMAGE IN EARLY JANUARY). What do you think?

           “Gorilla Tour” coming: A nail-biters journal.

Saturday Feb 9. 

A day closer and my nails bitten down a little lower as I grow more nervous about whether my book will be ready in time. My publisher, (CreateSpace.com) has promised that a proof of the book will be ready by Feb 12. 

Even then it will be a tight squeeze to examine the book (312 pages), order copies, and have them printed and delivered by February 22nd, the day of my Musehouse Literary Arts Center public reading and signing. My debut for this book! 

Yesterday, a kind soul at the publisher, named Kristina, offered to see what she could do "to move it along." I was very touched (but vowed not to depend on it, if you know what I mean). Wish me luck.